The Art of War …
Having been jeopardized by an autoimmune disease systemic lupus erythematosus (SLE) for the past 3 years, it is my greatest satisfaction to admit that lupus has forced awareness in me: Initially of my health; consequently, of my approach to daily living and to a sharper awareness and appreciation for my life.

In the middle of April 2012, I started experiencing peculiar unexplained flu-like symptoms, feeling run down and lower energy levels and having low-grade fever on a regular basis. Despite this, my primary care physician was unable to detect the disease. My symptoms continued to worsen to a point where my ESR spiked to 78 mm/hr and I could barely get off the bed by myself. Unfortunately, the very next day of my birthday, I was admitted in the hospital, diagnosed with Systemic Lupus Erythematosus (SLE) and pumped up with I.V. steroids.

I was devastated to discover about my condition and like most people, I had no idea what the disease is about and most importantly ‘Why Me’. Soon, I learned about the debilitating autoimmune disease with the help of my doctor and medical resources. At that time, I was put on 60 mg prednisone and hydroxychloroquine (HCQs). Being in 11th grade and due to continuous administration of steroids in my system, I developed puffed up face, put on excessive weight, lost hair (being a 16-year–girl, that was the most dreadful experience!) and eventually became center of pity and sympathy. When my condition had stabilized and I was in clinical remission, except for morning joint aches, I, incautiously, assumed myself to be ‘normal’. Owing to being an academically bright student all my life, I felt it is important t o catch up with the lost time in the academic rat race. Green with envy, I was first time outpaced in the paper chase and had also compromised with my health by taking undue stress which resulted in a flare again.

But the dark truth is that however ‘normal’ I assumed myself  or pretended to be okay like others, the fact is that cells in my body were not normal, which makes it essential to understand about this reality and live with it harmoniously. For this reason, learning to care for and love this new ‘me’ is the first step towards accepting the illness. Sun Tze’s ‘Art of War’ was useful here. This ancient Chinese military strategist advocated the importance of knowing yourself and your enemy before going into the battlefield. Since SLE is an autoimmune disease, your own cells fighting against your very own cells resembling an internal rebellion; therefore, isn’t your enemy your own body? So, my advice to others like me is to learn to understand the limits of your new physical condition, how much physical and psychological stress your new body can withstand.

There have been times when flares got so severe that I had to be admitted to the hospital. Losing hope in such tough times is never a solution. Instead of asking the unresolved mystery—“Why me? What have I done? Why? Why universe has turned against me’, we should learn to accept and live with the truth. It is important to understand your limits and barriers at each stage of your illness.
All through my tough times, I have received unconditional support and motivation from my family, doctors and friends. Keeping a healthy relationship with your healthcare advisor and attending regular appointments are essential to keep disease activity to minimal. Not only this, doing gentle exercises and following a nutritious diet help to great extent.

I had two options: One, to curse the universe and another to fight for my dreams with the changed circumstances and here, despite the odds, I am currently studying in medical school and determined to become an immunologist in the future, wherein I would be able to help people alleviate their hardships, find new less-invasive methods to control the disease and also, perhaps, find a cure.

‘Pain is inevitable, but misery is optional.
We cannot avoid pain, but we can avoid joy.’
-Tim Hansel